To Spot a Technical Writer

By Gaurav Parab

You know you are looking at a Technical Writer when:

1.Amidst the chaos of a rapidly progressing fire, there is a guy calmly staring at the EXIT sign and muttering to himself, " They really should have used BIGGER FONTS."

2. Out of the same old crowd in the company canteen, you see a smartly dressed person emerge – Well polished shoes, hand bag in place, hair neatly groomed. That person is a Technical Architect. Who is not the same as a Technical Writer. To spot a technical writer, you need to find a fire and read point 1 again.

3. You see a person with a telephone in hand, beads of sweat forming slowly on the forehead – softly repeating into the phone. "Will that be a hyphen or a dash?"

4.
Child: “Dad, how do people die?”
Father: "Dying is the operation of passing from physical life and loosing all bodily attributes
and functions necessary to sustain life."
To die perform either of the following steps:
a) Take a gun (See, Guns and knives in section 1) and …
b) Move your head….

5.
Husband: “So, what do you exactly do at work?”
Wife: “I am a Technical Writer”
Husband: “Off course darling. But what do you do?”

6.
Judge: Can you justify your actions?
Mr Smith: "Will that be right justified or left justified?"

7.
Immigration official: Can you speak English?
Applicant: "errr...Are you American, British or International?"