Monday, May 21, 2012

Man Overboard

File:Drowning in a matelrialistic world.jpg

Image Source Wikimedia Commons

By Gaurav Parab

On an afternoon that feels like
A night singed
Behind my closed lips
Are clenched teeth
And along the sides of my face
Where there used be a smile
Is a nerve leading to my head
That throbs
Like my heart used to
And inside my head
Where it all ends
Are mirrors
Throwing my thoughts around
Till they collide
And friction rises
Till my head is singed
Like this afternoon today

I can’t entertain you anymore
Even if I smile through closed lips
I can’t give you my time
My hands have run out of clocks
I can’t be someone with someone
Someone else with someone else
For I cannot be
Me with you
 If I had a gun
Or a rope
Right now, this very moment
There would be a drop
Of my blood. Right Here.

Years from now
If no such afternoon comes again
I might even smile
At what my head could have been
If there had not been
The last strand of sanity
In the jumble up there

And as I was thrown
Out to the boiling sea
Twenty five meters is all
That safety rope can reach
And instead of throwing it
Towards me
The world pulled it back
And smiled
All of you smiled
He is so funny.
He likes to eat fish
Look at him write away
In the light of a candle
He does not need a rope
He can do anything
He is perfect.
Let’s pull it back

Why Am I today
What I am today
Because you and I let my mind go
To places so dark, and so damned
And I am not even sure
All of me came back

And the one or two
Of you who pointed
At me
And  jumped up and down
And shouted at the world
Man overboard, f**king man overboard
Save him, please save him
As friends and as lovers
Thank you. Seriously, thank you
I wish
Everyone was a lifeguard like you.

And those of you
Who I have hurt
And continue to hurt
Every speck of sand
Every second
Every hourglass inversion
All I can say is
I did not mean it
I never mean anything
I am just a doll made of pins
I am just a ghost of a ghost
20 gms heavy.

Lately, my head is so heavy
That it feels like
It is full of stones
And when you go pick the one
That you would put
Next to my head
Write on It
Elegantly, in Sans Serif

That here lies a man
Who loved when he loved
Who ---- when he ---
Who could not stand
A tear in any woman’s eyes
Or a story untold
In an old person’s heart
And the soul of an animal
Trapped inside a cage

And if there is space
Left, do scribble down
Here lies a man
Who could not stand.
And Microsoft Outlook