Thursday, May 21, 2009

Whats in a Name ?

In the movie that I saw today, a bunch of Mumbai based gangsters are having a conversation about why not to go to Delhi.

“ It is too cold”

“The people are too loud. They play Bhangra with the car windows down”

“All the girls in Delhi are either Neha or Pooja”

As I rolled in my seat at this stroke of genius, the entire front row comprising of what obviously looked like Neha’s and Pooja’s turned around and glared back at me.

This really got me thinking.

a)      a)Movies are pushing the envelope as far as subtle humor is concerned.

b)      b) Hot girls. Act normal. Hot girls. Act normal.


Not that I claim to be an exotic Aryanabhata.  While the Tamils have rocket scientists and Health Ministers, the Telgus their computer engineers and film stars, and the Punjabi export import business – Maharashtra has an entire generation of Gauravs.

Some twenty years ago, while the Patels planned how to get a US Visa for Viren, Kalpesh, & Hiten, and the Rao's taught trigonometry to three year olds, us Marathi’s named our kids Gaurav.

Let’s call him Gaurav. We will see how it goes. Pass me the alphonso mango please.

Not that I am complaining. It could have been worse. Ask Kumar Gaurav. A name so statistically impossible to be unique, that there is a better chance of running into a John Lou with two toilets in his name, than not running into a guy called Kumar / Gaurav in the Indian subcontinent.   

Back in school, there were 4 Gauravs in my section. Yes 4 out of 40. 10 % of the entire class. If you are a Kapoor, imagine a pizza with 10 slices. One entire slice was called Gaurav.

And all of us usually spent our time together. I guess if you have the same name, you have a thing in common.

While Ameen, Shreyas, and Rohitesh came to be known as the Three Amigos, and Sidhartha and Savio became the dynamic duo, Dukle, Parab, Joshi, and Pandit were called the..well… 4 Gauravs.

Again, I am not one for complaining. I thought we got away lightly. If I were an Aryanbhatta, and I saw 4 Gaurav’s having lunch together, I would not call them the 4 Gaurav’s.

I would have called them the G string.

In our defense, Gauravs do have a lot going for them. While the Sameer in class fails in every second subject, and the hot Shweta finishes third – the Gauravs always make up the middle pack. Solid. Not brilliant, but sufficiently gifted to copy from the Chetans.

Like you will never come across a poor Oberoi, or a well behaved Rohit, you will never see a Gaurav going home worried about his report card. Sure, he would have other things on his mind. Like, how does a Smith live in England, how do Annas get married in Russia ? or how does an Amit ignore shouts of “Hey AMIT” for the twenty other Amits in the shop with him.

On the bright side, with time all the Gauravs I know have successfully dealt with the name issue.

 Some have migrated to Norway (“Eat this Djovicle! My name is more unique than yours”).

And the rare Punjabi Gaurav insists that he be called Garry.

Me on my part is either GP, or ‘you short guy with the paunch’ to the people I know.

Having discussed the name issue, in an important development elsewhere, DLF has decided to sponsor the stadium air during next year’s IPL. Every time a player inhales, the commentator will say, “…And this breath of DLF fresh air has been brought to you by DLF”. During exhalation, Vodophone will create a DOO DOO cartoon to perform random acts that no one I know finds funny.

Gauravs out there, - “ Jack Daniels Presents Indian Gaurav” may have a Las Vegas freak show ring to it, but there could be a US Visa in it.


If you hated this post, you will hate this more


Anonymous said...

Since when did GUP become GP???


Atrisa said...

Move over GP and GUP, you have your own name in every English dictionary. G-ul-P! Coincidence?

Anonymous said...

G string! LOL!

Safety in numbers.
i do not take offence at being dragged into this article since i can safely assume you are referring to one of the zillion other Amits out there.

- Amit Bhatia

Vaibhav Mathur said...

Reminds me of how my parents always told me that Vaibhav is a very unique name. And I believed her as I was the only one by that name in the first school I studied in. Well, with time you learn that your parents are not always right. In my new school, there were two more Vaibhavs in my section, and another zillion in others. College and office were not much different either.
Anyway, loved you post.

Shreya said...


Priyanka Khot said...

I haven't seen the film yet... but guess they were spot on. Although they did miss out on Priyanka.

All through school we had 5-6 Nehas, 3-4 Poojas and at least 2 Priyankas in every section.

Your take on Maharashtrians (I am one) and Gujus had me rolling with laughter. Too good a post.

yamini said...

I liked ur post very much. Couldnt go through the rest of the blog though, but I'm sure, it would be as entertaining as this one.
Keep it coming!!!

Mansi said...

cool post :)
satirical take on indian names is an idea that's never failed to tickle the funny bone! kudos..very well-written!

AnuG said...

ROTFL! What's with the Aryanabhata tho?

Nishant Kumar said...

awesome dude.. keep it going...

aarti said...

too funny gaurav.. awesome!!!

ankha said...

can you plz remind me the movie name?? hahahaha

Anonymous said...

plz remind me the movie name??? can't remem.. lol'

Gaurav Parab said...

@ Ankha: I am not sure, but I think it was 99 with Cyrus Broacha in it.

It was a delightful movie.

Not sure though.

BTW, is Ankha a real name? Wow. That is straight up Hot Street.

ankha said...

hey , that's ma name.. i now remem the scene btw.. lol'