By Gaurav Parab
Last week I received 6 wedding invitations over email. This was in addition to the usual Agarwal Wedding: Pooja would like to invite you spam that greets me every time I open my email account. It is after all May, the month where the Indian male either gets married, or attends a marriage ceremony of:
a) His closest friend.
b) Amit / Vivek / Ramesh
c) Some stranger, who has a couple of friends randomly waving arms – to direct morning traffic straight into wedding halls, that are full of clueless motorcyclists.
To be honest, I am not one for lavish wedding ceremonies. (As an experience, I would rate it right up with having to discuss “Where do you see yourself in 5 years” to a job interview panel). But it is something one has to encounter every now and then.
The lavish Indian ceremony, like all things in India, started in the NCERT history text book.
Caveman to Jurassic girlfriend: Pass me the Horse de vour. Burp.
Girlfriend: Yupiee/ Wowiee / Hieee- let’s get married!
Caveman: Tomorrow, I catch deer with my bare hands. It is too easy with the sniper rifle.
Girlfriend: Let’s have a marriage ceremony bigger than the Chopras!
Caveman: How long do you think will it take someone to invent remote control?
Girlfriend: We would of course need to find a wedding planner. That is the thing this season.
Caveman to girlfriend: Do you think I am being stereotyped in this article?
Girlfriend: We can start by finding a decorator willing to take large amounts of money.
Caveman: I have a zit the size of a T Rex egg. And I can’t think of any more disgusting things to quote.
Girlfriend: Do you think a live band will be enough to spend the remainder of your life savings? I want to be sure.
Well, I am not saying everything about a wedding is bad. It does have its moments for the average male the world over
During weddings in Iran, men get to fire AK 47s randomly in the air to bring down unsuspecting rooftop based onlookers.
During weddings in Russia, men get to take a break from trying to look like gangsters.
During weddings in Afghanistan, fathers and sons look for brides together.
During weddings in American Pie, men get to make out in the closet with random strangers.
During weddings in India – and this is what this video article is about, middle aged Indian men get to do the one thing that they are naturally good at, with no fear of censure or scorn.
Dance badly. And I mean, really really badly.
What the commentary box is to Mandira Bedi, the Indian wedding baraat is to 250 million Indian men. An opportunity to do their thing in front of an appreciative audience. Awkwardly.
As exhibt A, I give you “Dancing With the Yaars” from a good friend’s wedding. Before you view this video, I must warn you –this one minute video is not for the faint hearted. This is the kind of video that even Al Jazeera wont touch because of the graphic nature of its content.
11 comments:
Couldn't be better my friend, thanks for making this I relived that moment.
Amazing piece Gaurav. Wanted to see your dance in it too! Well what can is say : I didn't know how sexy my bums look until you made this!
fantabulous blog... the video is the best part !!
That video was cool... :)
-Vaibhav Sharma
Awesome blog man. Its a hell lot of work dude.
-Yogesh Powar
This is brilliant!!!!
mainly because I've never received so much attention before :P And neither has a horse.
No, seriously, This is fantastic... Cherishable for years to come. Great!!!
-ankit
What a blog! I couldn't help laughing my ass out! great work! I need to find some role in the next ramsay flick!
-Rohan
Hi Gaurav, It is for the first time that I am forced to leave three comments on a blog on the same day.
But visiting ur blog has been a worthwhile exercise (though laughing my guts out without making a sound coz I am in office right now did take some amount of effort) but nevertheless I enjoyed thoroughly.
The marriage dance video is in the superlative category of humour.
I liked the caption for Nisarg specially :-))) though all the captions were too good.
@ others: You all sound like IT males so we will chat later
@ Yamini
YOu have a nice name :) Yes, Nisarg is a piece of work. With the kind of attention his bums are getting, I think National Insurance Company will soon face an unlikely insurance request.
Thanks!!
glad to know that you are living and breathing in spite of that video. your friends are kind.
Nisarg it seems has garnered the maximum support for his booty shake though i would give equal votes to the unsuspecting horse and the groom.
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