By Gaurav Parab
Dark eyes flutter to look away
A sequence breaker in a predictable array
She does not care to say much to me
With others her words manage to flow free
A table separates us every now and then
Distances will disappear, but none know when
Reeling me in like bait with surprising strength
Then she decides to let go of some length
She does not care for the rules of the game
The hunter and the prey are just the same
One day she may run out of luck
If she keeps setting fire to the fire truck
How long before she loses a good man
We never started, yet the end began
Sometimes it makes sense to simply walk away
When there is so much left to say
A lady in black, and then she is the lady in pink
Her eyes scream and sometimes say please
She is the closest thing to a perfect tease
5 comments:
Loved it!
Ahh.. hw I wish .. I wrote tht...
(very close to what I was thinking to write..) ... hope the girl is not the same :) .. nyways perfeclty executed..
Thanks Nishant and Gautam
@ Gautam: I will not answer that question :)
Since you asked.
It seems from couple of your recent poems that even though you present the woman's actions in the most animated manner you cannot fully understand the feelings behind those, infact you repeatedly fail, if not deliberate, to express your own/the guy's feelings with regard to that. If it’s a narration you desire, you ace it every single time; For the rest, I say you give Pablo Neruda a quick read.
I could be wrong but I feel you hold back. You have been gifted with an incredible mind, but somewhere you need to develop the ability to infuse more heart. You have so much more potential than you realize now.
The Perfect Tease. Again, it never talks about either character's feelings.
That's enough critiquing for a while, you think? :)
@ Anonymous: Yes, it is true. Guilty as charged yet again.
Whoever you are, you know what you are talking about.
To write about a beautiful boat, you first have to sail in it.
Similarly, I could take a shot at writing about feelings of either character involved, but then I have to understand them in the first place. The risk is to say things that do not exist, and get burned. Maybe I will one of these days.
After your post, I tried reading up on Pablo Neruda. He sounds interesting. I do not read poetry, I have a couple in my cupboard, but I could not get myself to read them . But now you have mentioned it, I will try to get hold of some of his stuff.
Thank you. Keep writing in.
Regards,
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